


Recovery and Repair

by MinaAffairs



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Suicide, F/M, Heavy Angst, Mild Smut, emotional smut, recovering entrapta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 18:49:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21306851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinaAffairs/pseuds/MinaAffairs
Summary: On Beast Island Entrapta attempts something she can never undo. She is recovered, and eventually recovering.This is about a suicide attempt and what happens after, there is also angsty Smut in the middle. The narrative is up and down much like recovery. Written in an experimental way entirely in Discord.
Relationships: Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 267





	Recovery and Repair

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this entirely in Discord then compiled the bits (all under 2000 characters) into this fic. It's a little disjointed, a little oof, but I ended up liking it.

The pouring rain outside of Entrapta's shelter adds a lot of dramatic atmosphere to this moment. It's fitting and almost humorous. At least it would be if her mind wasn't preoccupied with other such less humorous things.

It had all gone so wrong. Not just her time on Beast Island, but all of her life. Every decision she had made just pushed her further into hopelessness

Entrapta thumbs the button on her recorder. Taking a breath as she does so.

"Beast island Log... Final." She pauses for a moment as she says that. The word is resolute. Final. This log isn't for her though, she can't just stop and consider her wording. She needs to leave her message.

"Hordak. By now you'll probably have seen that I'm no longer around. The creatures of this island are fascinating but deadly, and the survivors here have proven to lack hospitality towards me. Like most people seem to." She sighs into the recorder.

"Whatever you have heard about what happened with me, to me, I need you to know that I never wanted to leave you... I never wanted to hurt you. I was excited and prideful and naive and it consumed me!... It consumed what we had…"

And now it's consumed what I tried to make here too. You'll never hear from me again Hordak. I've finally... Given up. Please tell Imp and Emily that I love them, and that I died in the pursuit of science."

Entrapta shuts off the recorder. It's done. There's no more to say. 

The sound of an energy weapons discharge scares the birds nesting around her shelter.

Inside the shelter she had missed. Typical. Instead of an instantaneous death Entrapta gets to lay here slowly and painfully dying. It's almost darkly fitting. Another failure in her seemingly endless resume of them.

As Entrapta tries to move, tries to do anything, only to find her body refusing to respond, what's happening begins to sink in. Fear. Horror. Regret. Bottomless pain. They fill her entirely. What has she done? How could she have made another mistake even now?

Tears begin to well in her dying eyes. 

And then someone bursts into her shelter. She hears them move over to her, leaning down, leaning over her. The visage is well known to her.

Hordak.

He's looking over her in shock, horror, and then conviction and maybe even anger. She wants to speak. But can only make the weakest of noises. A dying gurgle and little more.

Hordak's eyes meet hers.

He speaks. "No." It's simple. Commanding. Powerful. "You do not get to die unless I kill you." He hisses. A mixture of hurt and rage in him. 

Does he think she betrayed him still? Is he just angry about seeing this? It's difficult to determine. Even if her mind wasn't slipping away it would be difficult.

As she fades she feels herself being lifted.

And then when Entrapta's eyes open again she's in a bed. Weak. In pain. Somehow alive. Somehow revived.

Her eyes slowly begin to take in her surroundings. Her brain slowly turning, working out where she is. This isn't beast island. It's not the Fright Zone either. There are definitely Horde machines present, medical and scientific equipment but the room itself... It's too bright, too fancy. Entrapta has been here before… long ago now.

She's in Bright Moon.

As that realization hits her there's a second important feature of the room spotted. Hordak. He is sitting in the corner. His head resting on his fist as he stares at nothing, clearly deep in thought. His other hand is holding her recorder. Thumbing the buttons idly.

Entrapta tries to speak, letting out only the weakest "H-hor-hh" before her voice gives out. Even that much is exhausting and painful.

It is enough though. Hordak's ears twitch and he looks over. Then his eyes widen slightly and he stands up, striding over. "Do not speak. I had to rebuild most of your throat." 

She just nods slightly. She wants to tell him she's sorry. She wants to ask why they're here. She wants many things. None of them she can currently have.

Then she feels his hand touch the top of her head, stroking her scalp. It feels off but she can’t quite place it right now. "I understand. What happened." He speaks quietly. "I heard your logs."

Tears begin to well in Entrapta's eyes. For his part Hordak simply kneels down to press his forehead against her own. "I am sorry as well." He finally says, a whisper. Words just for her.

…

"He had to cut it off to safely work." Adora says softly as Entrapta looks at herself in the hand mirror. Her hair has been cut short, sheared. She's been fixating on it since she got the mirror. 

Rather silly to fixate on that. She can see the scars, discoloration, where parts of her jaw and neck had to be remade. Where Hordak no doubt had to grow new flesh for her and had Adora help him fuse it to her.

Adora and Hordak are the only two that will be alone with her. Really Adora's the only other one Hordak will let be alone with her, others have visited but Hordak hovers. They also all seem uncomfortable. From what Entrapta has gathered Adora used her powers as She-Ra to help Hordak save her. Some sort of trust developed there between the two.

Entrapta finally glances up at Adora's words. Looking quizzical. 

"Oh uh... Hordak... We had to replace some of your spine... Back of your skull... It uh..." Adora glances away now. Uncomfortable at the memory no doubt.

Entrapta looks down. Feeling bad. Guilty. They keep telling her it's okay, that what matters is that she's alive. That's not all that matters though, Entrapta can see it in everyone's faces.

Suddenly a hand grabs hers. Entrapta blinks and looks back up. Adora looks into her eyes. "Hey. You okay?" 

No.

Entrapta nods. Then she opens her mouth and lets out a tiny whisper. “Hordak?” speaking is slowly coming back. Difficult, it is coming back.

"He'll be back soon. Glimmer just wanted to talk to him about Horde bots and stuff." Adora assures.

Entrapta just nods again, and returns to sitting while Adora talks. It’s all superficial, and eventually Adora does make her leave. Entrapta can see the Guards outside, they’re always there. Protecting the castle from the bed bound woman.

She lays back, staring up at the ceiling and waiting. She needs to ask for technical reports or something to read. Perhaps that would help her keep her mind occupied. 

Hordak is late… Perhaps he made a stop?  
When Hordak suddenly walks in with the tray of tiny soups it does jolt Entrapta, and it makes her giggles. Her healing body makes it more of a quiet whispering sound. The visual of laughter, a smile on her face. She can feel it. It hurts a little but it's a hurt that's nice. Unlike the rest of it.

Hordak huffs as he moves to her side. "You would not believe the chefs here, arguing that multiple tiny soups is ridiculous. I told them that they are cute, and that only seemed to surprise them." He is somehow so serious as he speaks. He did make a stop it seems.

He starts to sit down at her side, then Entrapta scooches over and pats the bed. It causes Hordak to blink. "Ah. Let me put your soups down." He notes, setting them on the table beside her before he sits down on the medical ward bed Entrapta rests in. 

She sighs a little, a relaxed thing. And reaches out to gently pull Hordak into a position she can rest on him in.

He's tense, he doesn't know how to move in such ways on his own, but he's learning. They're learning. Together. 

As Entrapta rests in his arms for a moment Hordak speaks. "this cannot be that comfortable while I am in my armor. Also your soups will get cold."

She just looks up at him, trying to give a bemused expression.

"...Apologies." Hordak replies, holding her for a moment before he insists she eat. He helps her even with that, he helps her with everything.

It makes Entrapta wish she could give back somehow, that she could do something other than lay here and take up people’s time. She manages to get the request for reading materials out though, and Hordak is happy to oblige. He is always helping.

...

They all try to act like there's nothing of note going on outside her room. For a little bit Entrapta was even happy to play along. Unfortunate it has become apparent that the illusion barely holds. She can hear snippets of arguing outside from time to time. She watches Hordak reading and writing in the corner of the room when he thinks she's asleep. Like right now.

He's working a lot. Constantly. More than during the portal work. Every Time Hordak is away it's because he's doing something for Glimmer. Whenever he's here he seems split in focus despite how much he tries to only be here for her.

She can see it in Adora too. The stress and exhaustion. The unspoken worries.

"Hordak." She whispers out into the dark.

He looks up, setting his tablet aside immediately. "Entrapta. Is everything alright."

"You… rest." She says simply, her voice a rasp..

His brow furrows. "I am alright, this work needs to be done."

"Hordak." She speaks again. A painful warble in her voice as she tries to be commanding. "Lay. With me.”

He stares for a moment. Then he sighs, and nods, standing and moving over to her. 

Entrapta shifts to the side. She can help him in these little ways, if nothing else.

...

You don't expect walking to ever be nearly impossible. Even when your hands have been weak and hard to use you hope that your legs will somehow miraculously just obey you. When they don't it can be quite scary. Quite difficult.

As Entrapta tries to pull herself out of her bed and immediately begins to collapse she feels so weak and scared. So useless. So much like a failure.

When the door opens up she is on the floor crying quietly, she barely registers her visitor. Until he is at her side, until he is gently lifting her up. Careful but strong.

"Entrapta." Hordak speaks. "What happened?" He asks as he picks her up with ease. His voice is tinged with concern. With care.

Her voice comes out as a whisper. But it does come out. "Tried. To walk." It's punctuated with sniffles.

Hordak only nods, sitting her back down. "You will have to relearn to walk." His voice is matter of fact. Almost reassuringly so. The simple strength of it causes her to finally look at him properly. "I bypassed some of the damage to your spinal cord using a cybernetic bridge. The downside is that your brain and it need to learn to efficiently communicate with each other." He nods, his thumb moves to wipe her tears

Entrapta stares for a moment. Then she smiles just a little, and nods. "Thank you." She whispers.

…

"You're doing quite well." Hordak notes as he helps Entrapta slowly shuffle along. After her fall he began to take the time to make sure and personally help her with practicing walking again. 

"Thank you." She nods. Smiling just a little.

"When I first implanted my interfaces." Hordak continues. "It took me quite some time to learn to control my armor properly. You are progressing faster I believe." 

"It's like science." Entrapta notes. "Learning to walk again is an interesting experience. Worth studying." 

Hordak doesn't immediately reply to her there, causing her to look back at him. She's met with his staring face.

And the soft smile reserved only for her.

Then Entrapta realizes that that's the first time she's talked about science or studying anything since she woke up. That she said it without a thought. 

That it was just as natural and positive as ever.

Entrapta smiles back to him. Then continues her little walk.

...

"They don't follow me when I'm with you." Entrapta notes as she slowly walks along with Adora. The taller blond woman holding Entrapta's arm to make sure she doesn't fall. As always Adora has made it a point to help Entrapta with what she can. In this case she has taken over the exercise for the day that Hordak normally takes charge of.

"What?" Adora asks, confused. 

"The guards. When Hordak takes me out they follow us. I thought it was both of us, but is it just him?" Entrapta asks quietly. Her voice still hasn't come back entirely but it's getting there. 

"Oh." Adora glances around. "I hadn't really even noticed... It's probably because I'm here, not because he's not." She sighs. "Glimmer..."

"Doesn't trust us."

Adora sighs. "Yeah. Can you blame her though?"

Entrapta shrugs a little. "Do you distrust us?" 

Adora pauses at that. Uncomfortable. "I... I want to trust you Entrapta."

"But Hordak?"

"... I trust that he wants to help you." Adora tries her best to sound diplomatic. Even Entrapta can pick up on that.

After a moment Entrapta speaks, just looking ahead as they walk. "He's not that different from you."

"Entrapta..." Adora begins. "He's done things that..."

"That you would have done if Glimmer and Bow hadn't found you?" Entrapta notes a bit more bite in her tone than she perhaps intended. 

Adora falls silent, and it permeates for a while before she finally speaks again. "you're right. That doesn't make it alright though."

Entrapta shakes her head. "But it means he can be better, right? Me too?" She looks back at Adora now. Wanting to actually see the answer.

Adora nods. "Yeah. Yeah he can. You can."

...

Entrapta holds her hand mirror up to look at the back of her head. Bouncing reflections from the standing mirror in the proper guest room she has been set up in. Even with the healing from She-Ra the work done is very apparent. Moreso on the back definitely.

Partially because part of the work that saved her includes a visible implant at the base of her skull. She's looked at the diagrams. It's a small metal port, a visible portion of the intercept Hordak had to put in her. To let them maintenance it if needed. Around it is the discolored skin, and the gray discolored hair growing from it. Entrapta carefully reaches up to touch it. These permanent reminders.

The world is heavy for a moment. The weight of it all.

Then the door opens. Hordak steps into the room. "Entrapta." He nods. She smiles back from her stool in front of the mirror.

"Hordak." Her voice is gentle, pleasant. She insisted Hordak share this room with her, he didn't need much convincing. He also needed the shared space. By the time they moved in here he had been wearing his armor without maintenance for weeks. Refusing to take it off in the castle.

It was only when they were finally alone in this room that he let Entrapta disassemble his armor and help him rest properly.

Now he steps over to her. "You look good with short hair." He notes.

Entrapta blinks, looking back at the mirror in front of her. "Do you think so?" She asks will tilt of her head.

"I do. You look quite good."

She glances at the reflection of Hordak. Standing beside her in his armor. His own scars hidden. She can see them though, she can picture them perfectly in her mind's eye.

She drifts back to her own. The obviously discolored flesh of her neck. 

Maybe she does look good.

"I have something for you." Hordak suddenly notes. Stepping away to the duffel bag he brought in with him. Kneeling down to root through it.

Entrapta watches him, turning on her stool, not wanting to use the energy to get herself up just yet. It is still quite tiring to walk. It likely will be for some time. "What is it?"

Hordak doesn't immediately respond. Instead he seems to find what he wants and stands, turning to Entrapta with a small smile.

He's holding her head gear. Her mask and the hardware it's attached to. Entrapta finds herself letting out a small gasp. It looks slightly different. The rear portion seems to have Horde metal and hardware integrated into it. Welded and fused.

"It was... Damaged, I had to repair it. I made some modifications as well." Hordak nods. "Based on the interfaces in my armor and other things..." He nods. Trying to explain the changes as he walks over to Entrapta and holds it out to her. "I apologize if you do not approve of the modifications."

"I love it." Entrapta blurts out. Taking the headpiece from him to turn it over in her hands. "I love it." She repeats. Carefully moving to put it on.

Immediately it feels... Right. Entrapta extends the small mechanical tendrils housed in it out, manipulating them as she always used to. Somehow it comes more naturally than controlling her body proper does these days.

She smiles up at Hordak. Then reaches out to take his hands. "Thank you Hordak!"

He smiles. Looking proud of himself. Looking happy for her.

Entrapta spends the evening tinkering, maintenancing Hordak, and generally enjoying small precise tasks that she has had trouble executing with her hands. The mechanical tendrils on the headgear though? These are natural, precise, her. It's liberating.

While Entrapta is turning over a piece of Hordak's armor, making tweaks and micro repairs to it, she glances over at him. He is sitting, his armor off, leaning forward. His elbows rest on his knees and his fingers are woven together in front of his face. Though his eyes are closed.

Entrapta sees it. She sees it so clearly now. With her own spirits so surprisingly lifted it becomes so much easier to see what's going on around her. Yes she knew Hordak was working hard. She knew he needed his rest too.

But she hadn't see just how tired he is. She did not comprehend the depth of his exhaustion.

Hordak doesn't just look weak, or sick. He looks old. He looks tired. He looks like even with his armor removed the weight of Etheria continues to press down onto him.

Entrapta drops the armor piece. It causes Hordak's eyes to snap open, he looks to her quickly. Ready to shrug off his exhaustion for her. Always ready to do that for her. 

The weight of what Entrapta has done hits her again. It presses down with a renewed force she wasn't ready for. What she did to herself was bad, but what she did to him?

"Entrapta? Are you alright?" Hordak asks, concerned.

Entrapta tries to reply. Instead all she can manage is to choke back a sob. Then she fails even at that. The tears come. The crying.

And it's so unfair. Because she's just making Hordak do more. He is the one so tired but here she is. Selfishly sobbing.

It's unfair. It's so bottomlessly unfair. Hordak has wrapped his arms around Entrapta, holding her as she sobs. Giving more of his energy to her, more of his time. It's unfair. She shouldn't be doing this to him. She shouldn't have done any of this to him.

She tries to choke out his name, to choke out an apology. Then she feels him squeeze her a little tighter. She hears him speak. "You do not need to speak." His voice is calm yet stern. As if he isn't entirely sure how to process this so he is choosing to be authoritative.

"I do!" Entrapta manages to blurt out. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I can't... I don't know what's going on!"

Hordak sighs. Then replies with a defeated, and almost darkly amused. "I don't either."

That hits Entrapta like an electric shock. It's so unexpected. So honest. So useless. But what could she expect? What could either of them expect.

Entrapta's sobbing begins to change. It begins to turn to a choked laughter. A mixture of sorrow, pain, and absurdity. 

"This is awful!" She manages to get out. 

"It is." Hordak agrees, nodding against her and starting to chuckle despite himself. 

The two laugh. Entrapta cries. She feels he would too if that was a thing he ever did. Eventually it exhausts them. Eventually they can only lean on each other, resting there uncomfortably comfortable. Silent but with so much to say.

Inevitably they give up on the evening. On trying to be productive. On trying to do much of anything. They help each other to bed, and just collapse into it. Entrapta rests in Hordak's arms. Feeling his broken alien skin beneath her own scarred and life marred body.

She feels Hordak's claws gently stroke through her short hair. Scratching her scalp some. It's nice, pleasant. There's something comforting about laying together with broken bodies in the middle of a kingdom that hates you. All but prisoners, trying to survive both yourself and a hopeless war. 

It's pleasant at rock bottom, in its own way.

But it can be nicer; if they try to climb up.

"You're tired." Entrapta finally says. "I looked at you and... You looked so tired Hordak." She sighs. "And it... It made me upset."

Hordak doesn't immediately respond. She can feel him hand pause. Thinking. Then finally there is a simple. "It is of no concern."

"It is though." Entrapta responds, looking up at him now. "I... I don't want you to give everything for me." 

He looks down at her for a moment, and then up at nothing. "As you tried to do?"

Entrapta tenses. That stings. It burns and it hurts. She clings to him a little. Riding out that pain before whispering. "Yes."

"I will not. I have a war to win." His tone is hard. 

She looks up at him again. "Why?" It's a loaded question, and it causes Hordak to look back down at her. 

"Prime will kill you if he is victorious. I believe you were still conscious when I told you only I am allowed to kill you." 

Entrapta stares for a moment, processing that. Even she knows it's rather twisted. Yet it is somehow... Reassuring. 

So she rests her head against him once more. "I love you Hordak."

"And I you, Entrapta.”

Sometimes you can feel, you can cry, you can experience the emotions and work on them. Sometimes you can communicate and make things calm for another night.

...

Sometimes you don't want to feel. Sometimes feeling is too much. Often it can be. So instead you find a way to not feel, you find a way to suppress emotions. Some ways are less destructive than others. 

As Entrapta slowly and shakily pulls herself up onto Hordak she hopes this is one of the less destructive ways. She knows it is really. She's tried the most destructive way.

She has to rest on him for a moment, straddling his sides, leaning forward to rest her forehead on his chest. It's so tiring. Moving her limbs. Physically they remain strong, firm, but the act of moving them still takes so much effort. She hates it. 

"Entrapta?" Hordak's voice is surprisingly soft. Curious. She feels his hand stroke her head. 

She takes a deep breath, and instead of replying verballs she pushes herself up to kiss him. Pressing her lips against his roughly, almost haphazardly. He lets out a small 'mmph!' in some surprise. Then he kisses back. His claws wrapping around her head, trailing along her spine.

When they finally break Entrapta speaks, her voice an airy whisper. "I'm going to fuck you." 

Hordak takes a breath, looking up at her with concerned eyes. "Entrapta. You are still rather weak. If you wish to be intimate I can-"

"I'm going to fuck you." She repeats as she slides down along his body again. Trying not to cause him any undo pain. Deciding as she moves down to use the moments of rest she needs to places kisses on his chest. "You can help." She adds.

She doesn't look up at him. Resting against him for a moment more before shifting her body. Then she feels his hands move, trailing down her to grip her hips. He gives her a simple. "Very well." 

It's all she needs. It's all she needs in order to avoid laying awake and thinking about everything that's happened. It's all she needs to push her emotions aside and replace them with nothing but effort and physical stimulation.

His claws dig into her hips, slight pain shooting through her. It's good though. It's good pain. His grip takes some of the weight off of her own legs, and together they guide her into position over him.

And then slowly down onto him. 

A slow gasp escapes Entrapta. Her eyes close as she feels him enter her, press into her, fill her. She feels her lips turn up, the empty smile of intimacy gracing her. Entrapta rests there for a moment, sitting up on Hordak and arching her back in a stretch for a moment.

Then she leans forward, hands placed down on either side of Hordak. Propping her up. Slowly she begins to make her legs move, her hips; flexing muscles and starting to set up her steady Rhythm atop her lover.

It's hard. It's immediately exhausting. Her smile falls away as she looks up at Hordak with determination and desire. She feels him begin to follow her rhythm under her. Hordak's own hips pressing up against her, pumping in time. His talons grip and help her move herself. 

There are no words. Just the groans and panting of intimacy. There are barely any feelings. Just the raw wash of pleasure and effort. Eventually there aren't even shared looks as Entrapta closes her eyes and tilts her head back in a silent moan.

It is exactly what she wanted.

Her pleasure builds. Steady with every motion. Pulling her up closer and closer to her climax. Then it crashes through her. Entrapta's entire body tenses, her muscles twitch and spasm. Small whimpers and moans escape into the dark room around them.

She can hear Hordak beneath her. Growling in his own pleasure. Then as she rides him through her climax she hears him let out the hisses and growls of his own overtaking him.

It makes Entrapta smile. The sounds of him. The feeling of him. The feeling of pleasure cascading through her.

Then it begins to fade. Her body begins to calm. She is exhausted.

Entrapta flops forward. Resting against Hordak as she did at the start. Taking deep breaths. Barely able to move her body. She feels Hordak finally release her hips, the relief from his talons leaving her is welcome.

"Hordak." She whispers.

"Entrapta..."

"Help me get off of you." She speaks quietly. She's barely able to move herself. She's so tired. So bottomlessly exhausted. 

Gently she feels Hordak grasp her and pull get off of him. She does all she can to help him. Then as he rests her back down against him she simply gives up. Entrapta's body sprawls out, beaten and tired. 

It's comfortable though, and the last thing she feels is Hordak moving to gently stroke her hair as she passes into a deep and dreamless slumber.

To exhausted for her nightmares, exactly as she hoped.

…

"They're getting a party together." Hordak notes as he tests a servo arm at the workbench they'd set up for him in their shared room. They each have one. Overall the room has slowly began to take a form non unlike the Fright Zone. Machines moved in, workspaces set up. 

Hordak often works with Bow in the castle these days but this space is theirs. It is not for Alliance work. It is for personal work.

Entrapta glances up as he speaks. She's working on her own electronics components. Mostly small circuit boards. Adding tiny jumper wires and such things to change their function. "Oh?"

"A celebration of the anniversary of someone's birth from what I understand. It all seems rather frivolous." Hordak hmms as he works.

"You wouldn't want to go to a party?" Entrapta asks. Actually surprising herself with the question. Judging by the way Hordak pauses and blinks she surprised him too.

"What I want in this regard is irrelevant." He notes after a moment. "I will not be invited." He sounds so matter of fact about it. Which makes sense, he's right. They both know it. People are wary of Entrapta, and they barely tolerate Hordak's presence in the castle.

For a moment Entrapta feels that they really barely tolerate her either. She makes them uncomfortable. They don't like looking at her they just have to.

Entrapta takes a breath and nods a little. "Well... Maybe we won't be bothered for that day then. We can get a lot of work done." She smiles. Staying positive. Focusing again on her work.

Eventually a knock sounds on the door. Someone asking for Hordak. His help is needed with something. He checks to make sure Entrapta will be okay while he is away, as he always does. Then he is gone. Striding out into the halls of Bright Moon.

Entrapta continues to work in silence for a bit. Though without the background presence of Hordak her thoughts creep back in. Thinking about everything going on in the castle as of late. About the war she's no longer directly part of. About the work Hordak is always doing. About how no one seems to appreciate what he's given up and what he's doing.

Entrapta sets her things down. Lifting up her mask and taking a deep breath. It's time for a walk.

Entrapta has steadily grown more stable on her legs. Hordak or Adora always make sure she takes time to practice her walking and there is a modicum of pride in the fact that she can actually move around unassisted as long as she's slow. 

Hordak continues to tell her that her progress is excellent. It feels nice. Yet there's a hint of something else there. His total focus on her physical recovery. As if it's all that needs to recover. She can't blame him. That's tangible. Fixable. Unlike who she is. She needs to get this out of her mind.

Entrapta sighs as she steps out of the room and begins to move through the halls, keeping near the wall to lean on it as necessary. The guards always outside of her room begin to follow her. It's sort of ridiculous. When Hordak is with her they couldn't possibly do anything, when she's alone it's not as if she is mobile enough to be a threat.

When one breaks off though. That's interesting. Nothing she can effectively investigate though. Instead Entrapta makes her way to one of the castles many gardens. Finding a bench to sit down and look things over.

The beauty and nature is nice, but the architecture is more interesting to Entrapta. The construction of Bright Moon. The tower that holds the Runestone in the distance. The golden decorations and spires. All of it.

When Adora sits down beside her she doesn't even have to look. That explains where the guard went. "Hi Adora."

"Uh. Hey Entrapta." Adora replies. She sounds quite awkward. "You doing alright?" The blonde asks. Entrapta can feel Adora staring at her. It makes the scientist glance over. Noting the strange almost worried look at Adora's face.

"Yes. Why?" Entrapta tilts her head. A tendril extends out from the side of her headgear to scratch her scalp for added effect.

Adora watches that for a moment. Blinking rapidly. Then refocuses and replies. "Well uh. You kind of left your room after Hordak was gone with no warning and walked out to a balcony so..."

Entrapta feels the world pause around her. Oh. Oh she was walking out to the exterior gardens. Which are all balcony based in this place. The guard left to get Adora. Her friend.

And then the second realization hits. Two guards on her even when she's alone. It makes sense if they're not there to protect the castle from her. They're there to protect her from herself. 

"Oh." Is all Entrapta can get out. The feeling is intense. This assurance that they don't trust her even with herself. This knowledge that that's what everyone here thinks of when they look at her. Somewhere inside she knows that at least on Adora, and probably Bow's, part it is a genuine thing. Care for a friend.

Yet it still...

Hurts.

And are they wrong? 

"Entrapta?" Adora says. "Are you sure you're okay you look a little... Unfocused. Which isn't your usual because you're usually pretty... Well no you're usually unfocused... But it's more excited."

Entrapta blinks. "Who's birthday is it?" She suddenly asks instead of addressing that.  
Adora blinks. Taken aback for a moment. "Oh uh. It's... Glimmers. Why do you ask?"

Entrapta nods slowly. Glimmer. That makes sense. Actually that makes it somewhat surprising that the castle isn't even more abuzz in preparation. Or maybe Entrapta just hasn't noticed because she doesn't actually get out of the room much.

Oh that's kind of sad.

"Hordak noticed a celebration was being prepared for." Entrapta says simply. Looking back around. "We're not invited, are we?" She decides to just ask up front.

Adora shifts awkwardly. Looking down at the ground. "You've been... Brought up... But Glimmer is the Queen and a lot of people think it would be best if... You and Hordak not be part of a celebration like this." She says carefully. "Due to your... Pasts. With the Horde."

Entrapta nods slowly. That hurts more than expected. She didn't even want to go really, but the assurance that she was never going to get the option. That people don't want her there. Don't want Hordak there. It hurts. Entrapta wants to snap briefly. She wants to point out the logical failings of that given Adora's attendance. 

Instead she says "That is what I expected! Hordak and I will have a day in together!" And smiles.

...

They can hear the celebration even from their room. Music. People. Shouting. Happiness. It makes the room feel more isolated. More a place that other people don't go to. A place that doesn't exist like the rest of Bright Moon.

At least that's how it feels to Entrapta right now 

Hordak seems fine.

"I believe... We are almost ready." Hordak notes. "The hubs are completed. The expanded interface..." He hmms as he looks over the array of machinery before him. 

Entrapta blinks, a smile gracing her. A well of happiness overtaking her strange mood. "Oh! Are we already?! I'm sorry I lost track of time!" She gets herself up to move over to Hordak's side. Grinning now at the machinery. Excitement wells through her body. 

"Well your portion of the project did get done before mine." Hordak notes with a smirk. "Turn. I think we can begin assembly." 

Entrapta's grin somehow grows. A sparkle entering her eyes as she turns to face away from Hordak. She hears him begin to pick things up, she feels him slotting components into her mask. The hubs on the sides, the numerous mechanical limbs attached to the back and to the hubs. The control boards nestled within. The central spine tendril that unravels down her back and extends supports to wrap around her torso. The larger armatures attached to the spine like a trunk.

All in all it is a brand new hive of manipulators to replace the previous one made of her hair. Not as streamlined or as elegant, but definitely functional. Built of salvaged Horde technology and their own ingenuity. 

She feels it all come alive. The numerous actuator types hiss as they begin to move. The tendrils grind against each other as they slide. Hordak is still adding more to the system when she gets excited and lifts herself up off of the ground. Turning around to face him with a smile. "Hordak! It works!" She cackles. 

All thoughts about the party they haven't been invited to is lost. A moment of happiness, a moment of being herself again, stolen from the dark just for her.

Hordak grins as he watches the limbs begin to grab their still detached compatriots and self assemble. "It is! How does it feel?"

Entrapta sways and moves around the room for a moment. Giggling. "Good! Right! Freeing!" 

"Good." Hordak nods. "We can refine it over time of course, but as a first version this is quite good I feel."

Entrapta just grins at him. "yes! I recognize the work you have put into this." she winks. Hordak looks momentarily bashful, then quickly deflects into more work. It makes Entrapta giggle.

They run calibration tests. They smile. They laugh. Their enjoyment of work well done, of giving Entrapta back some emulation of her hair, fills the room. It drowns out the party they don't get to be part of. It makes the castle feel far away from their small happy room. Eventually Entrapta swoops right up to Hordak. Lifting herself up to his height and leaning forward.

"I love you." She smiles and kisses him.

Hordak kisses back, reaching around to hold her. "I love you too, Entrapta." He says. It's soft, gentle. Pure emotion from the failed clone. 

It makes Entrapta's heart flutter. A true welling of butterflies in her chest cavity. She murmurs and rests against him for a moment. "Thank you Hordak." 

She feels him tighten his arms around her slightly, resting his head on her own. Then after a moment he speaks. "Would you care to dance?"

Entrapta blinks, smiling a little and looking up. "What?"

"I understand dancing is something Etherians do at parties, and though we are in here there is a party going on." He notes.

Entrapta blinks again, then giggles. "If we danced would that mean we made our own party?" 

That elicits a hmm from Hordak. "Potentially. We should experiment to find out perhaps."

"Good idea!" Entrapta giggles and shifts herself. "I don't know how to dance!"

Hordak blinks. "Neither do I." He admits.

It doesn't stop them from making their night good.

…

Entrapta sits in the warm sunlight streaming in from the windows of her room. The warmth flowing over her. Her tendrils working on her headgear and one another. They've continued to iterate quickly. To develop this framework.

They've started working together properly too, outside of the room. Hordak and Entrapta have become known to the Alliance. The inseparable team you ask for when Bow can't help you with something techy. 

They're still not well liked. They still see worried, or hateful, looks. Entrapta still has trouble sleeping. She still feels so bad for everything. Every day is still so taxing.

Yet she's here. Still here. 

The work is good. Her relationship with Hordak is good. The war isn't good but they have plans for that. There are these moments. These perfect moments that push all of the bad away and let Entrapta breath. 

Suddenly one of her tendrils changes direction. Snaking out to dig into a drawer and pull out her old recorder. She has not used it in some time. Entrapta places it in her hand, feeling it. Staring at it. 

Then she hits record.

"Beast Island Log. Addendum." The moment she starts speaking the emotion Wells inside of her chest. Entrapta has to choke it down. She has to stand up and begin moving around the room. "I was... Incorrect... In previous beliefs and assumptions and took prematures actions. I am making this log to simply say that... I lived." Then she hits stop.

She has to pause again, take deep breaths. Even saying that was very hard, too hard. The pain courses through her. Then she forces herself to look around the room, and her gaze lands on the mirror. 

Slowly she steps toward it. Giving her focus to it. To her. The scars on her neck. The metal tendrils replacing her hair and extending even from her back. The new clothes made in Bright Moon. 

She's so different. 

So changed. 

But she's still her. The red eyes. The short stocky body. The same face. Entrapta takes another breath. She's still her. She's just a changed her. She's more her.

Entrapta suddenly thumbs the record button on the little recorder again. Holding it up to her mouth as she stares. "Psychological Healing Log - Day One. I'm still me, and I haven't been recording enough things. I am going to start recording more things as I try to feel better in the hopes of it making me feel better. Also to record my progress and be able to make an objective measure of my mental state." She pauses. Looking around again, deciding how to start this. "Introduction! I'm Entrapta! Princess of Dryl! I'm currently still living! I'm living in Bright Moon Castle with Hordak, the former ruler of the Horde. I did something very shortsighted relatively recently and am still recovering from it, but I am recovering."

The recording continues. She talks at length.

Then the next day she records another 

And the day after that.

And every day she lets Hordak listen to them.

Not every day is better than the last. Not every day is worse. Some are very bad, some are incredibly good.

But every day she says the words. "I am Entrapta. Princess of Dryl. I'm currently still living."


End file.
